A Letter to Myself

Every year on my birthday, April 15, I write a letter to my 15 year old self to document my journey of growth. This year I'm preparing to say goodbye to Houston, my home for the last five years.

Dear 15 year old Kennedy,

Twenty eight. It feel so surreal to even say that. We made it to twenty eight! This year was filled with some life changing decisions and lessons. Twenty seven taught us gratitude, dealbreakers, and most of all faith.

I can say that our journey is essentially one of faith. It all starts back with you. The fifteen year old girl who thought life was over. The fifteen year old girl who was so broken by life she deluded herself into thinking that it needed to end right then and there. But guess what? We have lived 13 more years. And man have we LIVED those years. Our twenties have been some of the greatest years of our life. I look back on our journey in Houston and I think and I appreciate the woman we have become: A woman who loves God. A woman who loves herself. A woman who knows what it is that she deserves and does not accept anything less. A woman who enjoys having fun and living life. A woman who has experienced the magnitude of Gods grace and mercy.

The lessons we learned at fifteen set the foundation for us to become this woman. Moving to Houston five years ago was a leap of faith. I look back and think of how scared I was but excited at the same time. I couldn’t wait to live this Carrie Bradshaw life like in Sex and the City. But I was so scared to leave the comfort of being close to home. But now it’s been five years and moving to Houston was one of the best decisions we’ve ever made in our life. Now, unfortunately we have to say goodbye. But for good reason! We are going to be a DOCTOR. That’s right!

Kennedy Guess PhD, CCC-SLP loading…crazy right? I couldn’t wait to get out of school now we are signing up for four more years and moving to Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Our city days have ended. It’s funny because I find myself with the same fear I did when I moved here. But now as I reflect I know it’s a familiar one. I know that God has guided us to this point. I know we are poised to have an impact on this world and taking this next step is the continuation of that lifelong journey.

Presenting a poster at the TIRR Mission Connect Research Symposium

I am going to miss Houston, the city I fell in love with. Remember dreaming of someday finally getting out of Pittsburgh? Remember dreaming of having your own place? Well now, these are all realities. Living here reminds me I am in the walking manifestations of the dreams you had. Now I am walking into the dreams you never even were capable of dreaming of. We received a fully funded PhD. We published a chapter in a neuroscience textbook. We have an amazing job working in research and helping patients within hours of their stroke. We are loved by our family and the family we have built for ourself in Houston. This year has taught us gratitude.

The last thing I want to leave you with is, you accept the love you think you deserve. Sometimes it’s hard to remember. But like Daddy said, “finding love isn’t necessarily about what you want. It’s more about what you refuse to put up with.” We learned what we deserve and not to accept anything less. God orders our steps in the direction of his will. When you trust his will you will be given things you never even thought you could imagine. I’ll leave you with these final words in our year of faith.

1. Trust, Love and Serve God.

2. Respect your boundaries.

3. Take those leaps of faith even if they don’t make sense at the time, even if they scare the crap out of you.

4. Date someone who is your best friend, that you can just be an unfiltered version of yourself, build a friendship and allow it to be the foundation of something beautiful.

5. Let go of the things you cannot control because sometimes it turns out in ways you couldn’t imagine.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.”

1 Corinthians 2:9

Love,

28 year old Kennedy